I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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