I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
