the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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