Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
