We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
