Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
they need to just BURY HIM!
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
