lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
