thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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