hotel room ftw
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
