I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
