Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
