I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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