So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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