dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
