i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
