Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
