making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
