I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize