Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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