I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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