I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
if only i could text you this smell
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
