His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
