It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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