i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
