You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
