Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
