Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize