Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
