Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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