do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
