Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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