I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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