He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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