GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
