I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
