So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
