It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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