I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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