How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize