I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Dicks are not precious.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
