based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
