sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize