Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
