You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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