I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm both gender and math confused
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
