hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Randomize
