the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
