Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
