honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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