so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
