fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
