god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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