go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
