put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
What a dumb baby whore.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
