Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
