Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
