nut hugger
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
