Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
