So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
