New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
