Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Shame is for Republicans.
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