It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
