Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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