Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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