Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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