So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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