is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
