Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We were destined to go to rehab together
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
